The moral of the story is to always carry an axe
Accept challenge you received via social media to pour a bucket of ice water on your head
Find any bucket you have laying around the house
Fill bucket with ice
Begin typing your social media status message that will inevitably get a ton of likes
Accidentally type “Rice Bucket Challenge”
Laugh because you pictured people in Asia doing the Rice Bucket Challenge
Feel guilty because you’re not sure if that’s racist
Call your friend Jon to ask if that was a racist thought
No answer from Jon, as he’s probably avoiding you because you’ve likely made jokes like that in the past and you never realized till just now
Say that thought back to yourself, replace all L’s with R’s
Laugh loudly to yourself a bit
Write that down on a pad of paper to make sure you remember to tell someone other than Jon later
Ignore incoming call from Jon; he’s probably just calling to be a buzz-kill about your edgy humor. He’s always doing that.
Check Jon’s voicemail. “Blah blah, this is a coincidence that it seems like I’m returning your call, blah blah, it’s about your share of the rent being late, etc., etc.“
Get your priorities in order. This is the Ice Bucket Challenge and it’s for ALS
Pump yourself up. It’s go time.
Set up your camera to film yourself standing on a piece of furniture in your apartment doing your part for ALS
Hold bucket of ice water over your head
Wonder what ALS is
Wonder why so many people named Al are in need of help
Put bucket down and sit at computer in your bedroom
Google “Al needs help why”
Google “Als Icing Videos”
Google “Icing Videos Funny”
Recall that hilarious trend when Bros were icing Bros
Spend three hours watching
YouTube videos of Bros Icing Bros and slapping your desk each time you laugh
Ignore incoming call from Jon; he’s probably just calling from the other room to tell you that your bucket of ice has melted and overflowed on his West Elm coffee table and New York Times that he never reads anyway
Turn around framed photo of you and Jon that you keep on your desk to make sure he can’t see you watching these dope icing videos.
Jon hated Bros Icing Bros.
Wonder if his hatred of those videos stemmed from that time you burst in his room when he was making out with his Asian girlfriend and you chanted “Bros Ricing Bros”
Go back out to the living room and find your ice bucket has completely melted. Probably Jon’s fault.
Check the freezer and find you have no more ice because Jon “needs” to make smoothies every morning before going to his “job”
Go to local convenience store to purchase bags of ice
Purchase five bags of rice
Judge the guy at the cashier for giving you a quizzical look when you tell him “it’s for the internet”
Go home and film yourself pouring the hot rice over your head
Watch your video go viral
Oliver the Dog and Arashi the Cat: the cutest best friends ever!
Photos by ©izumiechan